![]() So, why shouldn’t we? Shanley very clearly wants his story to fit into the Folk tradition this story isn’t supposed to be plain reality. Rosemary has a brief moment of shock but she gets over it pretty quickly - weirdly quickly, honestly. Be warned: it’s the sort of thing that must be stated out loud (or in print), screamed from the highest mountain (of thyme or no), lest one starts believing it is they who have in fact gone mad. Now, I’m going to spoil the WTF secret at the heart of Wild Mountain Thyme, because it’s the only explanation of what is keeping Rosemary and Anthony apart. Then-a millennia of heterosexuality suddenly breaks in the process? Finally, a dramatic rainstorm sweeps in across the plains and traps the two indoors (these scenes give off some heavy The Quiet Man vibes, as any Irish romance should strive for) and Rosemary goes for broke. In her defense, Rosemary is bright enough to sense this maw it’s definitely coming from Anthony’s general direction, and her frustration builds alongside ours as the movie progresses. ![]() There’s a void, a gaping maw, where common sense should be. Instead, for the majority of Wild Mountain Thyme,we’re left with, absolute consternation. Do we not have eyes to witness beautiful movie stars being beautiful together? What is even happening with these two? There are a few flashbacks to their childhood that involve another little girl, ones that lightly nod towards ye olde tangled emotional complications, but the film makes very little of that. ![]() It’s inexplicable an affront to our senses. Yet the two of them have spent years in this gorgeous place being gorgeous people, and neither one will-after decades of near cohabitation-make any move on the other. They make for a spectacle of Celtic perfection. Standing beside one another they’ll make you go cross-eyed. Anthony and Rosemary, with their perfectly tousled don’t-care hair and sunbeam cheekbones, their lightly-muddied work-clothes and out-of-time shawls and woolen sweaters, are a vision. The atoms that climbed up onto one another to build those two knew exactly what they were doing. Emily Blunt and Jamie Dornan are about as beautiful and charming as people come on this planet. However, one spends the majority of Wild Mountain Thyme just kind of confused. Set upon the greenest pastures of rural Ireland any lad or lassie has ever seen, this is a terrific film for day-dreaming about travel from the safety of your couch, a vital instinct in 2020. ![]() Well, technically Rosemary’s been the one doing most of the mooning, or what any rational human person would categorize as “mooning.” Anthony’s been doing something further out than that. Are straight people okay? Can somebody check on straight people? Straight people, if you’re reading this, knock once on your screen for “I am okay,” and twice for “The call is coming from inside of the house.” I only ask because Wild Mountain Thyme, the latest film from Moonstruck screenwriter and Doubt playwright John Patrick Shanley, which stars Jamie Dornan and Emily Blunt in an, uhh, out-there romance, has me worried about y’all.ĭornan and Blunt play Anthony and Rosemary, two star-crossed next-door farming neighbors, who from the safety of their two sides of the fence, have been mooning over one another since they were little children. ![]()
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